30 MINUTE MEALS

Y'all provided such good advice on the diaper rash problem, that I have another one to throw out there:

This Wednesday I am teaching the Beehives to make a meal (dinner) and set a table to serve to a surprise guest (the missionaries). The activity starts at 6:30 p.m. at my house and the missionaries are arriving at 7:30 p.m. So, I need a meal that is quick and easy. I have been racking my brain trying to think of something (the Beehives were suggesting lasagna, hmmm... never heard of that cooking quickly, and I really don't want to do that much prep work because that defeats the purpose). I've looked through Rachel Ray's ideas, but am a little wary of trying something experimental. I need something simple, easy to make, and good, that will feed approximately 8 girls and 5 adults.

Ideas? Please!

DIAPER RASH

Here is a picture of Luke from last night. Notice anything strange?


He's wearing a washable swim diaper because he has the worst diaper rash ever. I can't think of anything that would make me feel like a worse parent, unless maybe if I put Coke in his bottle.

Today I am trying putting Maalox on it (a pediatrician once suggested that) and better diapers that supposedly pull the moisture away from his body. I really don't know what to do, short of going to the doctor. Every diaper change is a huge event because he screams and fights it so much.

My sister-in-law, Ditte, once asked a friend of hers what she does about diaper rash, and her friend responded with something like, "Oh, my son never gets diaper rash because I am really good at changing his diapers frequently." Man, how's that for making you feel like a lousy parent?? Even Erik is getting on my case about it, saying that I don't change him enough, although I feel like I am going through a gazillion diapers a day trying to alleviate the rash. Isn't it possible that a diaper rash just happens or is it always the parent's fault? He has also started drinking a ton of cow's milk, maybe the two are related?

EATING FOR TWO

I didn't know what to write about today, so I figured I would tell those who hadn't heard, that I am pregnant. It's not a secret, I just haven't told a ton of people. Surprised? SO WERE WE!! We are thrilled, excited and really couldn't be happier about the whole thing. We'll take what we can get when we can get it! So, no complaints here. I am due April 22, 2008. I'm fortunate in that I don't really get sick (that's how it was with Luke too), just tired, so it's been pleasant so far.

It's still very awkward for me to tell people. (Since I've posted this on here, we'll see who really reads my blog.) I like to tell people, if I do tell them, at the end of conversations, that way they don't feel they have to talk to me about it for 20 minutes. Really, how much is there that can be said besides my due date and that I don't feel sick?

My favorite reactions so far have been Candace:

"Yeah, I thought you looked fat the last time I saw you." (The last time she had seen me, I was 6 weeks.)

And my Dad:

"Are you happy about that?"

I just figured I should probably start telling more people since my pants are having trouble fitting. If you don't tell anyone, then when you do start showing, people will usually just think you are fat. When I was pregnant with Luke, I didn't tell the majority of my co-workers that I was pregnant for quite awhile. Someone even offered me a free gym membership because I was obviously gaining weight. A co-worker finally asked me at 23 weeks if I was pregnant. I wanted to say, "How rude?!? You should never ask someone if they are pregnant!!" I had always learned that you never ask a woman if they are pregnant unless you literally see the baby coming out... even if they are 23 weeks and wearing maternity clothes...

Anyway, so now you can all leave comments... maybe with even funnier reactions than Candace and my Dad. Although, I do have to admire that kind of "relaxed honesty" that I have with them. How many times do we wish we could say things like that, but instead we just say, "Congratulations!"?

STUBBORN

Luke has suddenly decided that he no longer wants to sit in his highchair. If we try to force him in there, he screams until his lips turn blue. Aghgh, why now? I figured we would get another year's use out of it. The highchair was a beautiful thing. It enabled me to cook, mop the floor, and clean, all while he was munching on food.... and of course, restrained.

There are only two ways now to get him to eat. The first way is to let him stand on the chair. The above picture was taken this morning. As you can see, he's in his diaper because I'm tired of changing his clothes 5 times a day because he won't keep a bib on without throwing it. The french toast is on a napkin because he likes to throw his plate or bowl. The second way is to spoon feed him and keep handing him parts of sandwiches as I chase him around the house. As a result, I keep finding sticky spots all over the house where Luke has touched things while eating.

I don't know what to do. Do I force my child into the highchair, despite his screaming? (Once in there, he refuses to eat.) Is it bad to let him stand on a chair (besides the obvious that he could fall)? I'm starting to wonder how he survives because I feel like he eats so little as it is. I'm going to buy a booster seat this week and see if that helps. At what age to kids stop using highchairs? Is this normal for a 15 month old? I have no clue, just lots and lots of frustration.

THINGS NOT TO SAY AT A LA LECHE LEAGUE MEETING

Yesterday morning I attended the monthly La Leche League meeting. All the mothers were sitting around in a circle. A nice new mother to the group was asking for help because her 8 month old rarely wants to nurse or drink breast milk from a bottle. She said:

"He won't drink breast milk from the bottle, but he will drink Coke. He loves Coke in his bottle!"

I didn't really look at any of the other mothers because I didn't want to make the new mother asking for help feel awkward, (the goal is to encourage rather than to alienate people from attending our meetings), but I did hear a quiet collective noise from the group like, "Huh?" Translation: Did she really say and mean what I think she just said? Oh, I hope she di'int!

Moral of the story: Please do not put Coke in your 8 month old baby's bottle. However, if you do, it is a very bad idea to go to a La Leche League meeting and tell everyone you do it.

TRUE LOVE WAITS

Luke is in love... with a picture of Milana Stolworthy. In fact, it's her baby announcement he can't get enough of. It's been awhile since we put her announcement on our refrigerator, and now Luke purposely pushes a dining room chair so that he can climb up and pull her picture down. He carries it around with him, saying, "Baby." I'm sure it would be the same if we had a picture of Lizette, Macie, Leyna, or Chloe on our fridge, or maybe Luke has found his one true love. Seriously, he LOVES this picture and can't get enough of it. Yesterday he was even riding around on his little scooter holding onto it. He also likes to be positioned right in front of it so that he can look at it as he eats. Coincidence or fate?

Playing on the ground with the picture of Milana in hand.

Love hurts.

THE DROUGHT IS OVER

HALLELUJAH!!

You know you're desperate for good television when you watch lousy shows on the TV Guide channel. That's how bad it got for me this summer. Well, good news, it's season premiere week/month/season!

Here's my week:

Monday:

The War (PBS) We watched the first episode last night and it was really good. Dancing with the Stars (ABC) I've never been into DWTS before, but I'm curious to see how Marie Osmond does.
Chuck (NBC) It looked funny.
Journeyman (NBC) I liked Quantum Leap, and this looks a lot like that.

Tuesday:

The War (PBS)
Dancing with the Stars (ABC)

Wednesday:

The War (PBS)
Dancing with the Stars (ABC)

Thursday:

My Name is Earl Season Premiere (NBC)
The Office Season Premiere (NBC) (I am so excited about the season premiere of the Office that my hands are shaking as I type this from pure anticipation. Breathe, Cristin, breathe.)

Friday:

Read a book or do something not related to television because I will have watched way too much this week.

So many shows, so little time, and my computer can only record one show at a time. To make matters worse, this is an extremely busy week for me. I hate when real life interferes with my t.v. time!

THINGS I LEARNED THIS WEEKEND

1. My brother-in-law, Steffen, got his mission call to the Washington D.C. South Mission!

2. My cute sister-in-law, Mette, who just sent her extremely serious boyfriend she had dated for over a year who felt like he was practically family off on his mission to Philadelphia on September 12th already has a new full fledged boyfriend. Wow, that was quick.

3. I really like Burbank. It's a nice little shining spot amidst the mess that is LA. We ate at Porto's Bakery twice. We stayed at a Marriott by the airport which did not look impressive on the outside, but inside, WOW. (We're probably easily impressed.) Our hotel room had a good sized flat screen widescreen television, a big fluffy duvet with lots of pillows, pillow top mattress, toiletries from Bath and Body Works and even bathrobes that Erik was afraid to use because he said those things are never washed.

4. I've decided that I don't need to go out of my way to go to H&M anymore. I hate the Beverly Center in Los Angeles. I don't know if HATE is a strong enough word for that place. Not because it is a bad mall, but because it is 8 stories, the elevator system is awful, there are hardly any escalators and it took us until we left the mall to actually find some stairs. I felt trapped. Erik also brought up the good point that we could get all the same stuff as H&M at Target. I think I liked going there more because it reminded me of living in Europe, than because of the clothes. Plus, their return policy is crap.

5. Wicked was excellent. I'm going to get the soundtrack. The Los Angeles cast was so good that it made me want to avoid touring companies of shows. I wonder how Elphaba keeps that green makeup from rubbing off on other people or clothes.

6. The Tonight Show set looked miniature in real life.

7. As much as I was looking forward to a weekend without Luke, I still woke up at 7:30 a.m. expecting to hear him hollering, "MOMMY!" I missed him too. Other than that, it was still really good to do stuff with just Erik and I. We should try to go on dates without the kid more often.

IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME

I got a new job at church a few weeks ago. I used to be the Laurel Advisor (working with the 16 and 17 year old girls) and now I am 2nd Counselor in the Young Womens Presidency, which means that I get to work with the Beehives (the 12 and 13 year old girls.) Yes, it is a big change for me... not bad, just different.

Last night the Beehives wanted to learn about babysitting, so I agreed to do a little lesson/activity. Wary of how I was going to have enough information to fill 90 minutes, I decided to make it into a little game. I broke the girls into 2 teams and had them answer questions, time them in performing tasks and take a written test. One of the tasks I timed them doing was undressing Luke and putting on his pajamas. Hmmm, it seemed like a good idea when I came up with it, but if you are considering ever doing this, don't. Instead, he screamed and pointed at me as if to say, "What are you doing to me? You're my mother! I trusted you! Why are all these crazy girls taking off my clothes?!" Since I was timing them, Luke seemed to be especially freaked out by the intensity of the whole exercise. I felt like a really bad mother making him do that. It wasn't one of my proudest moments. I have to keep telling myself that it could have been worse, I could have timed them changing his diaper.


Then I watched the premiere of "Kid Nation" later that night and I now feel a special kinship with the crazy parents who let their kids get involved with that show. I wonder how many of those parents watched the premiere last night and thought (just like I did at mutual), "It seemed like a good idea at the time." After watching it, I don't feel bad at all for the 14 and 15 year olds, this is like the "coolest thing ever" for them, BUT, the 8 and 9 year olds?? To put this in proper perspective, this would be like sending my 8 year old brother-in-law, Hans, to Kid Nation where he would be influenced by crazy 15 year old boys, forced to make his own food, sleep on the floor, clean outhouses, and do whatever else the producers would ask him to do in the name of television. This makes no sense. Take a look at this waiver that the parents signed holding CBS not liable if their 8 year old contracts an STD or dies. AN 8 YEAR OLD.


The only smart one on that show is little 8 year old Jimmy who asked to leave after a few days. I found it interesting that they didn't show him being reunited with his parents... maybe because they are shunning him for giving up the chance at winning a $20,000 gold star?? I also found it odd that the television crew happened to be at Sophia's mother's house when she called to tell her that she had been awarded the gold star just minutes after the town council made the decision.

The worst part is that I didn't find the show very entertaining. To think of the lengths CBS went in order to get around child labor laws and the controversy they are experiencing, I would have thought it to be better... and it was kind of boring.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY... JUST KIDDING

Erik and I have these fantastic plans to celebrate our anniversary this weekend, except that it isn't our anniversary. Our 6 year anniversary is over 2 months away, but this is the only way we were able to justify spending way more money than we ever would on a typical date. Since we do the exact same thing every year to celebrate - go to dinner and a movie - I am really looking forward to the next few days. This will be the first time that both Erik and I have left Luke since he was born. Here's the plan (can you tell I am excited?):

Friday:

Drop Luke off at my sister-in-law, Kirsten's, house
Go eat Korean food in Korea Town
Go to a taping of the Tonight Show (if you watch it Friday night, we'll be the really obnoxious people screaming in the audience)
Go to Wicked
Sleep at a "super fancy" 3 star hotel (we normally stay at 1 star dumps)

Saturday:

Sleep in!!
Go to the Temple
Go to Ikea
Go to H&M
Pick up Luke and go home

So... while I hope that Wicked and the Tonight Show taping will be fun, I CAN NOT wait to sleep in! I can probably count on two hands the amount of times Luke has slept all night without waking up at 5:30 a.m. or any other crazy time, since he was born. (I really took this for granted before I had a kid.) So most of all, this weekend, I just want to be really lazy.

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

I'm trying to breathe deeply right now. Deeply and slowly... to control my anger.

I casually mentioned to a guy in a ward last week that I am a notary, so I am available to help him out if he ever needs one for his business. A few days later, I get a call that he needs me to notarize some loan documents. I think, hey, no big deal, it's a little extra money, great. Next thing I know I am in communication with the title company, they email me 103 pages of loan documents and I am doing the entire closing. ME - who knows NOTHING about loans is going to explain all these documents to the client. Notaries don't need to know anything about the documents they are signing and stamping. In fact, that is the great thing about being a notary. It is very simple because you typically do nothing but sign and stamp. To make matters worse, I have 45 minutes to do the whole thing because I have to teach the Beehives about babysitting tonight at church.

I just called my "friend" from the ward and he confirmed that yes, I will be explaining all the documents. I told him that this isn't what I was expecting, and he said, "Oh, it'll be fine." I reminded him that if the client asks a single question or deviates at all from the documents, we will not have enough time to get through the whole thing. I don't think my "friend" thinks I'm being serious.

I used to love "faking it till I make it." I had a job where I once pretended I knew Word Perfect and ended up teaching 5 people how to use it while I was figuring it out myself. (Word Perfect really is just like Microsoft Word anyway, so I don't know what the big deal was.) Another example is that I really know nothing about parenting, cooking, or cleaning either, but somehow we are making it work out. However, I am at a point in my life where things like this are really irritating to me. I feel like I've been "had" and the $70 I'm going to make suddenly doesn't seem worth it for this 45 minutes of hell I'll sure to be experiencing as I stumble through and pretend I understand loan documents that I don't.

Breathe deeply.

REALITY SHOWS AREN'T REAL (GASP!)

This guy, Alex Boyan (an Amazing Race winner), is trying to travel around the world for free within the next six months. AGH, I am so jealous. Why did I not think of this before I had to be responsible!!? Anyway, he is encouraging folks to log on to his website to give him ideas on how to get from New York City to South America and beyond for free.

We know that reality shows have a tendency to skew reality. In Kid Nation the kids aren't really alone. In the Bachelor, the Bachelor usually doesn't really get engaged to the girl. Heck, the Donald's boardroom is a (shock!) sound stage on the Apprentice! So, while Alex's trip sounds like a fantastic idea, and I definitely will be following his journey, it sounds a little too contrived to me. First, he has a one man film crew with him. That is sure to pique interest and elicit help. Second, he's a clean cut, not bad looking guy. I want to see someone with a hidden camera and dressed like a bum try to make it around the world for free. Now that would be interesting.

Since I can't go anywhere (dang you, husband, son, and lack of finances!), I am obsessed with travel shows. Lately, some of my favorite travel shows are "Long Way Round" with Ewan McGregor and a pal riding motorcycles around the world and "Full Circle with Michael Palin", where he travels around the Pacific Rim. For now these will have to suffice.

DEAR DANICA

Dear Danica,

Pursuant to your request, here is a post about Vanessa Hudgens.

Love, Cristin

I have actually thought a lot about writing something regarding the big "High School Nude-ical" scandal. For those of you that don't read People magazine or watch Fox News, Vanessa (the clean cut Gabriella from High School Musical) sent a picture of her naked self to some Disney television star when she was 15. Supposedly this photo of her is popping up all over the internet, I haven't searched for the photo, so I don't really know, but that's what I hear.

My thoughts are that this is why you don't put any actor or actress up on a pedestal. Just don't do it. Not Anne Hathaway, Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron, Miley Cyrus, Clarissa Knows it All, the Small Wonder girl, Dakota Fanning, WHOEVER your person du jour may be.... just don't think they are better than they are because they do some really wholesome teen musical filmed in St. George, Utah.

Star Magazine reported that Vanessa put these pictures out there herself to change her wholesome image, but they aren't the most reliable source, so I'll choose not to believe that rumor.

On one hand I think, "Hey, she made a dumb mistake. She was 15." But then on the other hand, what 15 year old does something like this? I know I lived a somewhat sheltered life, but I didn't think this was that common of a practice for 15 year olds to be sending naked photos of themselves to Disney stars. If I ever meet Zac Efron I will ask him if this is common, because if anyone on the Disney channel were to receive racy photos, it is probably him or maybe the boys from the Suite Life of Zack and Cody get some too. Who knows anymore!?

POLITICAL UNSOLVED MYSTERIES

These questions have been on my mind a lot lately:

1. Why is Rudy Giuliani the leading candidate for the GOP nomination? (Please don't say it's because he was the mayor of New York during 9/11. That explanation makes no sense because Bush was the President during 9/11 and people don't like him.)

2. Why do people like Kucinich, Brownback, and Ron Paul invest millions of dollars to run for office when they have no real chance of winning?

3. Time Magazine reported that Judith Giuliani (Rudy's 3rd wife) must always have a seat on an airplane reserved for "Baby Louis" (that's the nickname she gave her Louis Vuitton handbag). Why doesn't Rudy make his wife stop doing that? It makes her look like a ding dong that can't relate to a normal person.

4. Carbon credits are stupid. As someone once pointed out, it's like finding an excuse to abuse your child in the U.S. and then buying credits for people in other countries to treat their children well so that you feel less guilty about your own bad behavior. Why do people keep promoting the idea of carbon credits when they are obviously seriously flawed?

5. Hilary and Bill - marriage of convenience or true love?

IF THIS IS WRONG, THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT

Some of you might remember the struggles I had with getting Luke to drink cow's milk. Up until Friday, I had completely given up. To replace milk, he was drinking keifer, plus eating lots of yogurt and cheese. On Friday I was watching a friend's 6 month old baby. When I gave her a bottle of formula, Luke started going ballistic, so I quickly took an identical bottle and filled it with cow's milk. Voila! He can't get enough of it now! (In fact, he's crying right now because his "ba ba" is empty.) This is so funny to me. Luke has rarely had a bottle during his entire life, so for him to be so obsessed with one right now is really interesting. Maybe he's been jealous of all the other kids for a long time.

Anyway, I don't know if this is right to be giving him a bottle at his age, but I don't care! So, don't you judge me if you see my kid carrying a bottle of milk! He drinks juice and water out of sippy cups. I'm so desperate for him to drink cow's milk. Keifer is good for him, but really expensive, so if this catches on, it could potentially save us $40 a month. No joke.

I KNEW IT!!

Check out this chart I found on msnbc.com:


I knew the rental market was crazy in Ventura County. This just solidifies it. I'm surprised that Santa Barbara or New York City aren't in the top five.

FF: THE O.J. SIMPSON TRIAL

I haven't done a post for Flashback Friday for awhile, but the Goldman family and Nicole Brown's sister were on Oprah yesterday and oh man, the verdict still makes me so mad!!

The O.J. Simpson trial occurred the summer after I graduated from high school and it was on every channel. Since I was (am) addicted to television, I watched as much of it as I could. It was very sensational and I remember thinking that many of the witnesses and attorneys were playing to the camera. I remember how dramatic Johnnie Cochran was and how clueless Kato Kaelin seemed about the whole thing. It seemed to go on forever...

When the trial ended, I was a freshman in college. My professor canceled class so that we could gather in the student union to watch the verdict being read. This was a really big deal. My friends and I gasped in disbelief, while a bunch of football players cheered.

So, now O.J. is coming out with this book, "If I Did It." Can you imagine anything more ridiculous??! If people still to this day, 12 years later, thought I was a murderer, I would try to stay as far away as possible from the case. O.J. is an idiot. This is disgusting. The fact that he is hiding out in Florida to avoid paying the money awarded in the civil suit is awful. I wish there were some way he could be prosecuted again. Even if he didn't kill them, who's to say he wasn't involved in it in some other way. Personally, I think the man is completely guilty and this dumb book makes it even more obvious. Really, "IF I DID IT"?? Who writes a book like that after being acquitted of murder?!?!? It makes no sense.

Since some of you might be too young to remember this (my sister, Caitlin, was 7), here is the verdict being read. I still feel so bad for the Goldmans and Browns.

I GIVE UP!

Luke has been talking a lot lately. For the past few weeks I have been trying to make a movie of him and all his new words. No such luck. Every time I turn on the camera he becomes hypnotized by it and so transfixed that he can’t do anything else but stare or so hi. It is very frustrating. Why doesn’t he understand that I need the best performance possible out of him for my movie?!?!

Since the vision of my movie has been crushed, you'll have to take my word for it. I can't believe how much he says and understands now! I can say things like, "Get in your highchair," "Go show Johnny your toys," "Go get your shoes, we're leaving," or
"Let's go out to the car. We're going bye-bye," and he follows my commands!! Some of his more popular words are:

Bup (means cup, he'll scream this in the middle of dinner when he wants a drink)
Fish (he wants Goldfish crackers)
Kitty Cat
Poopie (He will clutch his diaper and say, "Poopie! Poopie!")
Shoes
Doggie
Baby
Please (When he wants more food.)
Go Bye Bye?
Keys
Hot
'Ight (Points to every light and says this, obviously can't say his L's yet. Poor 'uke 'assen.)

If only he would understand and obey, "Do exactly what I say. Mommy is trying to make a funny movie of you talking." Here are the outtakes from the movie that will never be. He won't stop looking at the camera!! (Forgive me for sounding like a crazy stage mother on this tape. I was becoming frustrated trying to get him to say certain words.)

DREAM DINNERS NIGHTMARE

A while back, I went and did this Dream Dinners thing with a bunch of my co-workers. We went to this little store where there were 12 or so recipes to choose from. After my recipes were chosen, I assembled my dinners into little freezer boxes. Dream Dinners made it really easy to assemble each meal. There were step by step instructions and all the food was laid out for you with the correct measurements, the onions or whatever would already be chopped, etc. On each box, I stuck a label indicating what it was and how to prepare it. I think it cost around a $100 for 12 2-person meals. I went home really excited about having a freezer stock full of ready to eat meals.

Well, we soon discovered that Dream Dinners were like Nightmare Dinners. We could hardly stomach eating those meals. Even, Erik, who will ate almost anything, could barely handle eating them. The chicken enchilada casserole was mushy. The fish was gross. The marinade on the flank steak tasted nasty. On the other hand, every day I would show up at work, one of my co-workers would be raving about how great her Dream Dinners meal was and that her family just couldn't get enough. To this day, I still can't figure out why mine were so nasty and they loved theirs. I know that Erik and I have somewhat different eating habits than other people (we don't eat stuff like cheese whiz, margarine, or white bread), but good food is good food and Dream Dinners was a complete waste of money.

Despite the Dream Dinners disaster, I still admire the idea of preparing mass quantities and then freezing the meals into smaller proportions as a time saver. I just never know what to freeze. The people at Dream Dinners said you can freeze anything, but that turned out to be gross and now I am really skeptical of websites offering good freezer meals. Has anyone had success with preparing meals and freezing them to eat at a later time?

MAGIC QUARTER

I literally gagged the first time I watched this, but now I am obsessed with trying to figure out how he did it. I've watched it a few times for any quick hand movements and can't find any. Plus, why is he wearing a hat? Does this have to do with the trick?

Possible theories:

1. He knows the lady that gave him the coin. She did two identical ones and before he did the trick he cut a hole in his arm underneath his sleeve and put it in his arm. The first quarter is hiding behind his teeth. He uses a magnet to move the quarter.

2. Ditto the first theory, but his arm has some sort of fake skin on it, so he's not really cutting his arm.

3. He's just magical.

DON'T HOLD ME DOWN

Last night we were discussing Luke's rebellious attitude and Erik said it reminded him of the song, "Don't Hold me Down." He then started singing it and it was like something I had never heard before, he kept saying, "Oh come on, you know it. It goes, 'Don't Hold me Down..... Bruce! Don't hold me down..... Bruce!" I have searched the internet and found no sign that a song like this even exists. Although, considering Erik's history with messing up the lyrics, maybe he means, "Don't box me in!" I just don't know where he got the Bruce from... anyway. (Speaking of lyrics, I downloaded the application last week to go on the Singing Bee!!)

Last night, Luke fell in the mud right before dinner, and then couldn't get enough of it! I'm happy that he found something to entertain himself.

After dinner, Luke tried to run away from home. Here he is just off the driveway in our cul-de-sac. Luckily, his little bike goes less than 1 mph, so it was really easy to catch him. I have the biggest fear he is going to get hit by a car. I don't think he understands the word "sidewalk" yet.

Luke is getting really tall... tall enough to pull things out of drawers. It is becoming really scary. This morning he pulled 2 forks out and started waving them and running around the house. I quickly snapped this picture and then thought, "What am I doing!!? Put the camera down! He's going to poke his eye out!"

Then he almost did poke his eye out! I went outside to get the mail and he fell head first into a beach chair. It's been a hard morning for Luke.

IT PAYS TO BE HEALTHY

On our journey to becoming full fledged adults, we signed up for good life insurance last night. We've talked about it for years, but kept dragging our feet on it. We're "conditionally" insured since last night. It is a gruesome thought to imagine your spouse dying. Erik asked the salesman last night, "So, what happens if I kill myself?" I looked at him like, "What are you planning?!?!?" However, I did actually think when I said goodbye to Erik this morning, "Don't die, but if you do, I'll be okay." And he probably thought, "Since you never leave the house, if you get in some freak accident where the house explodes, I'll be okay." I still hope we don't have to ever use the insurance, but I'm glad it's there.

Here's the clincher: We're conditionally insured until a nurse comes to our house next week to take a urine sample, check our cholesterol, weight, etc. According to their charts, in order to get the cheapest price on life insurance, Erik needs to lose 7 pounds and I need to gain 4. We have one week to do it. Of course, if we don't meet the requirements, we can try again for the cheaper price when we do. We really got worked up into a frenzy as to how we can pull this off. I mean, heavy jeans and bulky sweaters (in 85 degree weather) will only get me so far on that scale. Erik can only eat so little. Plus, I can't eat so poorly to gain the weight that my cholesterol goes up insanely. Hmmmm, what to do... what to do... it's just that we are so close to the cheaper price, it would seem silly to miss out on it.

This kind of reminds me of when actors put on or take off weight for movie roles. As soon as the check-up is over we can go back to normal. And yes, this is how cheap we are. We are willing to risk damage to our bodies by crazy over or under eating during a week in order to get a good deal.

Wish us luck!

FEEL AWFUL FLICK

On autopilot, I looked at the Fox News homepage this morning. It's a hard habit to break.

I don't know how many of you know who Aaron Eckhart is. He's done a lot of first run movies, but he's not famous in the same sense that Julia Roberts or Tom Cruise are. Anyhow, some interesting tidbits about this actor are that he attended Brigham Young University and served in the Switzerland Geneva mission (my mission!) about 10 years before I was a missionary there. Erik's cousin's step-brother was even his mission companion. Here is a picture from 1989 on my mission website of him:

Flip to 18 years later and today's Fox News headline with this lovely picture:

"FEEL AWFUL FLICK"

The article explains that Elder Eckhart is starring in a movie, "Nothing is Private," that is essentially kiddie porn. Supposedly it is so bad that people walked out of a screening of it at the Toronto Film Festival. No wonder he looks so unhappy in this picture. He just finished shooting a graphic film where he repeatedly rapes a 13 year old girl. According to the article, the film doesn't leave much to the imagination.

How does someone go from being a good clean Mormon missionary in the best mission in the world to this? I realize that he obviously stopped living a "clean" lifestyle some time ago, but it's still sad - especially when liberal film people who are completely desensitized and used to watching all sorts of filth walk out of your movie.

"SPIRITED CHILDREN" IS A POLITICALLY CORRECT WAY TO DESCRIBE PSYCHO TOTS

(I've gotta bump that picture of Britney down with this post. It's making me ill to look at that hideous outfit.)

We just returned from attending a local "mommy and me" music class for the first time. At first, everything seemed swell. Luke was the first kid to run straight to the box of musical instruments and he was the first one dancing in the middle of the circle shaking his maracas. 20 minutes later it turned ugly. He was mad I wouldn't let him play the piano in the room or tear down the giant styrofoam guitar hanging in the corner. It's not like he was the youngest one there. Plenty of kids his age looked like they were getting tired, but instead of acting out, they just sat nicely in their mother's laps. Eventually, Luke found an open door and sprinted across the parking lot to our car. When I opened up the door, he climbed into his car seat on his own and tried to buckle himself in. At that point I took his hint, gave up and left the class early.

One thing interesting in these situations that I sadly find myself in whenever I try to take Luke to some sort of story time or "class" for toddlers, is that I can always distinguish between the mothers of "spirited" children (like Luke) and the mothers who have to bribe their docile kids to even get up or touch an instrument. While Luke was dancing in the circle, he started levitating towards an empty baby carrier. He just wanted to touch the cover, but this mother looked horrified, grabbing at it and saying, "No. This is the baby's!! Get away!" I realize that some people are afraid of germs, but seriously, folks. I wanted to say, "Hey - Luke was licking that tambourine that your kid is playing with now and vice versa, so there really isn't much we can do now, can we?" Whereas the mothers of spirited children were smiling at Luke when he started exploring the room.

I still feel very defeated for some reason. Maybe it's the horrified look of that mother while Luke was reaching for her baby carrier or maybe it's because I really had high hopes that this music class would be something fun we could do on Monday mornings, and it was very fun, almost Raffi-esque. Maybe we'll try it again in a month. Agh. Short of sending him to daycare, what are some fun and cheap things we can do during the day together where he won't bother other mothers or cause problems?

SOMETIMES, I HATE FOX NEWS

I will preface this by saying that I don't like Britney news, her music or really, her. She is trashy and her music is really REALLY bad. I am hesitant to post this because I don't want her polluting my blog. However, this picture was on the Fox News home page this morning with the headline, "Best Years Behind Her?" Besides all the obvious stuff that this really isn't breaking news, it is cruel!! True, Britney, or anyone for that matter, should never be wearing this outfit outside their bedroom. (Or maybe even in their bedroom.) The mistake was made and she will have to suffer for it. I could barely get through a minute of her Video Music Award performance because it was so so awful. However, what woman doesn't have a little fat, especially after having two kids in a year! Give me a break, Fox News!!

This was the last straw. I'm switching over to CNN and MSNBC for good.

IT'S TEHACHAPI AFTER ALL

It has been forever since we've been home for a weekend. We didn't go out of town and it was actually kind of fun being here in the 'Hachapi.


On Thursday night I was driving home from Home Depot and caught three people riding horses through our neighborhood like it was no big whoop. I guess dirt roads are pretty common here and there are only 5 intersections with street lights in the whole town. I was still like, "Whoa... horses in the middle of the street."

Luke's newest smile for pictures. Good one.

On Friday, Erik and friends held a memorial "shoot out" for one of their co-workers killed in the accident. I found this picture on the camera. I think they were trying to be funny or maybe they did a ceremony? Not sure. Erik didn't shoot his eye out. What a relief!

I saw an ad in the paper for a petting zoo on Saturday. It turned out to be a really nice family who owned a farm down the road from our house. They let us play with their baby animals for free. Luke was in heaven.

Doesn't the goat look like he's contemplating eating Luke's head?

Luke was kind of enough to cook dinner for us on Friday night*...

... and do the dishes. What a boy!

Tonight, after I started filling up the bathtub, Luke got into the bathroom and jumped in with all his clothes on. I guess he couldn't wait for his bath. What I don't have pictures of is him playing with his big poopy diaper and taking it off in the bathtub. This would make the 2nd time we've had to clean poop out of the bathtub this weekend, but hey, who's counting?

*Don't freak out. The stove was off and the pot was cold when I took the picture.

JUST ADMIT IT

Every now and then we see a really good movie and Erik decides he wants to quit his job to be an actor. I am being serious. I then have to carefully talk him out of it while not killing his dream outright or making him think I am "unsupportive." I think my number one fear, besides us being really really poor while he tries to be an actor, is that he will get some part and fall in love with his co-star.... this is assuming he gets parts that pay. I probably sound pessimistic, but someone has to be the grounding force in our relationship.


Anyway, I bring up the whole falling in love with your co-star thing because Jenna Fischer is splitting up with her husband of six years. While this is very very sad, just admit that you are now secretly hoping she will get together with the also single John Krasinski. It's an awful thought, especially since her separation is so fresh, but I thought it indeed.


It's always very exciting when fake romances turn real. It's like the ultimate for people like me who have to be reminded from time to time that television and movies are just fantasy. When I told my sister-in-law, Kirsten, that the stars of "The Notebook" were dating in real life, she squealed like a little girl. (She will probably deny this.) Pictures of Zanessa (Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens) together are also very fun to look at, albeit they are like, 12. When I read that Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle had a romance during the filming of Pride and Prejudice, well, I just about wet my pants!

HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY, YOU MUST BELIEVE THERE ARE MIRACLES

My sister, Kaci, called me tonight really mad.

Kaci: I can't believe I spent $17 on the new EFY cd. It is awful! Maybe I can sell it on Ebay.

Me: You'll probably get 50 cents for it. Why did you buy that? It's no different than Christian Rock. It is Christian Rock. If you heard that on a Christian Rock station you would change the station.

Kaci: You're right. I would be really embarrassed if anyone knew I was listening to this.

Me: Exactly.

I have a very low tolerance for Christian rock, including the LDS stuff. Does this make me a bad person? The Christian rock group I like best is called U2. Ever heard of them? In college, after the 100th time of screaming, "He----ey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you must believe there are miracles, because today might be the day-ay that yours come true!" along with Micheal McLean and my roommates, I decided that it had to end. I will only buy church cd's with arrangements of hymns. The other stuff is weird. I give special thanks to my smart mission president who had the insight to ban all music that wasn't over 100 years old or not a hymn, because you know missionaries will listen to anything. Erik told me that on his mission he really grew to love the sax solo on "She Sees a Diamond" on Micheal McLean's greatest hits. That's what happens when you go to a Mickey Mouse mission.

On second thought, I do like another Christian rock group - Everclean! Unfortunately, they're not real, so they don't count. Anyway, I was looking for a video from Sons of Provo to put on here, and found this concert footage from when we saw them at BYU. They don't show us in the audience, but we were there. That was the day I knew my husband loved me because he stood in a long line to get a poster signed by Everclean when I had to go back to work. The only person that will probably get a kick out of this as much as me is Candace, but I am posting it here anyway!

ARE YOU SURE THAT'S YOUR BABY'S DADDY?

I hate these dumb things. Really, I do. But, I kept seeing them on everyone's blogs and I got sucked in. I have decided that one thing these meters could be useful for is identifying your baby's daddy! Sometimes when women find themselves in the situation where any 6 men could be their baby's daddy they think they have to go on the Maury Povich show to get a paternity test done, but now there is an easier alternative. Instead of putting in the mother's picture, you could put in one of the potential baby's daddies.

For example, today I was thinking my baby's daddy could potentially be the Hoff:



Oh snap! Maybe I'll have to go on Maury Povich after all!

THE END OF SUMMER

We had a great Labor Day weekend. Unfortunately, I returned home with a full blown cold and feel so lousy. I am not a good sick person because it intensifies my usual complaining by at least 200%. (Just ask Erik.) I intend to recover by doing as little as Luke will allow me to do today. (I am hoping this includes sitting on the couch, drinking tea and doing lots of crossword puzzles. Wishful thinking. Ah.)

Here are some pictures from happier times -


On Saturday, we went to Santa Barbara with Candace, Tyler and Lizette Barton. It's still so funny to me that we both have kids now. We did so much before we had children and oh how things have changed! We used to be "fancy free" and now we travel with all this gear, changing diapers in the car, nursing babies all over the place, and other fun stuff like that. We ate overpriced pizza at Rusty's on the beach. Everyone kept saying, "It's for the view," but I was facing a wall with nautical charts on it the whole time eating a $6 salad.


We then went to the Natural History Museum. They had this great exhibit called Grossology. Here are Luke and I standing in front of the "Toot Toot" exhibit. I do not find farting funny, but Erik and Luke were in heaven.

Luke trying to press the "Toot Toot" machines. (Yes, they made farting noises and the display talked about how you too can achieve different noises!) Erik said, "Like I need an exhibit to tell me how to make that sound. Come on!"


Then we went to the Butterflies Alive exhibit which was very fun.

A butterfly landed on Luke's left shoulder. Erik and I thought that was really neat, but he was mad that we had to leave the Grossology exhibit and that we held him down for this picture.

On Monday we went to the beach with about 2,000 other people. Here are Luke and his cousin Wyatt. Don't they look like they are receiving some sort of instructions? Wyatt had been at the beach longer than Luke, but Luke is so much messier! Luke is over his eating sand phase, but now loves to roll in it. (Don't their hats look stupid??!! Just kidding. They are adorable.)


The tide came up and washed us out of the beach, so we went back to Gramma and Gramps Lassen's place and set up a wading pool in the front yard. Good times!

HATS LOOK STUPID

With the exception of "My Fair Lady" and Tim McGraw, can you think of any other time when "fashion" hats actually look good on people? Every time I see a hat on a person, I either think they are going bald or trying to distract us from a strange body characteristic. I watched High School Musical 2 tonight and was extremely distracted by the obscene and unnecessary use of hats. It really made me wonder what the hat was supposed to distract me from.

Ugly

Uglier

Ugliest